Insight
Rising strong : Family & the will to win
Dear Friends,
The past months have been an emotional and physical rollercoaster, marked by milestones that tested every ounce of my resilience. This year has been one of the most challenging of my life. I’ve wrestled with feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and frustration, but I’ve also discovered a deeper strength within myself.
The biggest transformation was in my role as a father. Changes in my household required me to step up in ways I hadn’t before. I had to relearn how to educate my kids, how to be present for them, and how to build a life that provides the foundation and values they need to thrive. Today, they are my drive. Every decision I make, every training session I push through, every competition I enter—it’s all done with them in mind.
Recent events have compelled me to deeply introspect and evaluate the consequences of my past decisions and actions. I’ve had to confront feelings of not being good enough, questioning my ability to do things right, and realizing that much of what I thought I had figured out about relationships, purpose, and achievement was not as clear as I believed. I’ve also come to accept that making mistakes is an essential part of learning and growth—at every stage of life.
RESET
When in doubt, Zoom out
To embrace introspection, I had to take a step back to remind myself of my values, purpose, and my “Why.”
A serendipitous encounter with a Dubai-based life coach made me realize I had lost my vision and sense of direction. I have always been the well-organized, self-driven, God-trusting, “know what I want and where I’m going” kind of individual. I never thought I would one day need the advice of a life coach but her story inspired me. At 27, she left a high-paying C-level job after a successful corporate career to pursue a more meaningful journey. Chasing achievements and money didn’t fulfil her, and she knew she needed a change. She now helps people who are socially and financially well-positioned but emotionally unfulfilled.
While I didn’t use her services, a few short interactions—initiated out of curiosity on my part—led her to quickly identify the lack of vision in me. “Smail,” she said, “you’re ticking all the boxes of a high achiever, but it seems you’ve lost sight of where you’re going. Regardless of what’s happened in your life, you need to find your vision.”
It took me time to understand what she meant. I thought I knew where I was headed, but her words lingered. Over weeks of reflection, I realized my vision had to go beyond superficial goals or vague aspirations. It must resonate deeply from within and give me the ability to project myself into a future Me I truly want to be.
In 2 words: top 1%. I've come to realize a meaningful and impactful life, to me, is about striving to be in the top 1%—as a man in my age group, a leader in my career, an athlete, and a contributor to society. I aspire to be in the top 1% of changemakers, youth mentors, and, above all, to help my kids achieve their potential as part of the top 1%. Yes, it’s a bold and ambitious vision that reflects a drive for excellence and a desire to make a meaningful impact. Striving to be in the top 1% is not just about personal achievement—it’s about setting high standards, leading by example, and inspiring those around you, especially your children. This vision aligns with a life of purpose, discipline, and legacy, which are values that can truly resonate and inspire others.
Part of establishing a path forward involves re-identifying or rediscovering your “Why(s)”. It acts as the foundation that fuels your actions, reminding you why you push forward, even when things get tough. A “Why” can range from the purely surface-level, driven by external validation (“I work out because I want to look good for Instagram selfies”), to a more meaningful calling, serving society and the collective good (“I fight for justice and equality because I believe in making the world a better place for future generations”).
Taking my own example, as a child and teenager, I struggled with being overweight and often felt excluded. The harshness and bullying from other kids left deep marks on me, compounded by the strictness and undervaluing I experienced from my father. Over time, I built my life around a personal "Why" of proving to myself and the world that I am not an unworthy kid, but a vibrant, energetic, and fit individual.
Regardless of how meaningful our “Why” is to the world, it has to matter to us personally for it to be effective. This reflection is deeply subjective, and its power is measured by how it sustains us through the hardest days.
TAKE ACTION
You Are What You Do, Not What You Say You’ll Do. – Carl Jung
In the last five months, I’ve achieved three deeply personal milestones:
- Taking full responsibility for my children’s care and education, creating a routine that keeps us grounded and moving forward.
- Crossing the finish line of a sprint triathlon—my first since breaking my shoulder earlier this year.
- Competing in my first global Brazilian jiu-jitsu tournament at the Abu Dhabi World Pro, where I brought home a silver medal.
Each of these was a hard-earned victory, born from a year of challenges that tested my resilience, discipline, and character. But these victories are only milestones—there is way more to strive for.
The pressure of competition is unlike anything. Standing in the corridor at the World Pro Mubadala Arena, surrounded by fighters from around the world, or at the cold beach at 5 a.m. before the start of a race among highly trained runners, I could feel the collective energy, an unspoken mix of nerves, determination, and focus.
Every fighter or racer had their own story, their own battles they’d fought to reach that moment. As I waited for my name or age group to be called, I couldn’t help but reflect on my journey—the sleepless nights comforting my crying daughter, the moments of doubt about whether I had the strength to raise two children well, and the countless late-night training sessions and sacrifices that had brought me to this moment.
During the competition, nothing else exists—no past, no future, only the present. I gave everything I had at the World Pro tournament and walked away with silver—a result I’m proud of but one that also leaves me hungry for more. I’ve never been the kind of person to settle, and that’s why the gold slipping through my fingers stings.
When I came home, medal in hand, I wanted my children to touch it. I wanted them to feel its weight, see its shine, and understand its significance. I wanted them to know that achievements don’t come easy—they require effort, persistence, and a refusal to give up when things get tough. Moments like that are why I push myself: to lead by example and show them the value of resilience and hard work.
RESILIENCE
The Ability to Attack While Running Away – Walter Scott
Resilience has been my anchor this year. Between recovering from injury, stepping up as a father during a difficult time, and managing the pressures of competition, I’ve learned that success isn’t about motivation. Motivation gets you started, but discipline keeps you going. It’s discipline that pushes you to train on days when you don’t feel like it, to show up for your loved ones when you’re emotionally drained, and to fight harder when the odds are stacked against you.
Here are some hard truths I’ve embraced on this journey:
- Growth often happens in solitude. You will have to endure long seasons of loneliness to confront yourself and your fears.
- Anxiety scales with ambition. The higher you aim, the heavier the weight of your goals.
- Success is built in the dark. To shine in the light, you must embrace the unglamorous, monotonous work.
- The struggle makes the destination meaningful. Celebrate your efforts, not just your wins.
- You pay rent daily. Winning isn’t a one-time achievement; it’s earned every day.
- Self-doubt never goes away. Learn to live with it and keep moving forward.
- Patience is essential. It will always take longer than you expect.
- Act now. There’s no such thing as “later.”
- Life is a constant work in progress. You never really figure it out.
- Define a meaningful successful life for yourself. Otherwise, someone else will.
- Your family mirrors your actions. If I want my kids to embrace hard work and resilience, I must embody those values every day.
- Consistency matters more than perfection. It’s about showing up consistently, even when you feel like you’re failing.
This year has tested me in ways I didn’t expect. There were moments when I felt like I wasn’t enough as a father, a competitor, a manager, or a person. But I’ve learned that those feelings are part of the process. Growth isn’t linear—it’s messy, uncomfortable, and often painful. But it’s also incredibly rewarding.
For those of you navigating your own challenges, know this: the struggle is worth it. Whether it’s in the arena, at home, or in your personal battles, resilience will carry you forward. Show up, give it your all, and don’t be afraid to fall short. It’s not about perfection; it’s about persistence.
Keep dreaming with pragmatism